The best of our most recent stories!

They Wrote The Book On Entitlement

, , | Right | June 16, 2021

I recently became a freelance editor, proofreader, etc. for authors wanting to self-publish. 

Client: “Hi, [Mutual Friend] gave me your number.”

Me: “Sure, how can I help you?”

Client: “I have a novel, almost 90,000 words, and [Printing Company] are charging me $600 with a turnaround of two weeks to format it for publishing. Now, I think you can do me a better deal.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I have no idea about how to format and typeset a book. I only do—”

Client: “It can’t be that hard! I’ll send you some YouTube videos. You should be able to do it in an afternoon.”

Me: “I think it’s a bit more involved than YouTube videos, or everyone could do it themselves. I don’t really have time to get trained on specialist software used to format books. Plus, I’d have to buy the software, too, and I know that’s not cheap.”

Client: “I will pay you $300 if you can get it done in a week, but really, it should only take you one afternoon.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You want me to do your book in half the time, for half the cost, using skills and software I don’t have?”

Client: “Yes! It’s not hard.”

Me: “Then I suggest you watch those YouTube videos and do it yourself. Goodbye.”

Years later, when I learned what really goes into typesetting and formatting a book, I think $600 for two weeks’ turnaround is a bargain! It’s not something you can learn from some YouTube videos and do in “one afternoon.”

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Is There A Backup Coworker, Too?

, , , , , | Working | June 16, 2021

I work in a clean room in a high-accuracy lab. We do work for all sorts of companies — automation, aviation, military, etc. Mistakes are not acceptable, so we have strict rules and procedures to follow. When things do go wrong, it’s normally minor and picked up by one of the overchecks we do.

I’m checking some parts on a machine and notice it clearly isn’t right. I check it on the backup equipment, and yes, there is a problem. I shut down the machine, lock it off, and finish the work on the backup.

It takes me a while but I finish and put it in the collection area. I notice another set of parts my coworker set down.

Me: “Did you check these today?”

Coworker: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “I have the backup. How did you check them?”

Coworker: “On the [main machine], duh!”

Me: “But I have the key. How… how is that possible?”

Coworker: “Ugh, I don’t have to explain the obvious to you.”

He snatched the key out of my hand.

I debated what to do, but in the end, I had to raise it to my boss. Turns out [Coworker] had never checked them at all and just copied the last report he did. All his work had to be rechecked, including some of the stuff already given back to the customer. It was incredibly embarrassing for the company and department. Officially, he quit, but I don’t think he had a choice.

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That Guy’s A Real Pizza Work

, , , , , | Working | June 16, 2021

I’m picking up pizza from a local pizza place. There’s no one inside and no one at the counter, so I ring the bell. I can hear two people arguing in the kitchen. Their conversation is barely intelligible until I hear the following.

Owner: “I DON’T CARE WHAT THE LAW SAYS! I SAY YOU’RE FIRED! GET OUT OF MY RESTAURANT! OUT! NOW!”

A VERY pregnant-looking woman darts out of the kitchen, crying as she storms past me and out the door. The owner follows her out the door, continuing to scream at her for a minute or two before coming back in.

Owner: “Sorry for the delay. You’re here for a pickup?”

Me: “Yes. But what was that all about?”

Owner: “Just putting a lazy whore in her place. Anyway, could I get the name for the order?”

I gave him the order name, paid for my pizzas, and left without saying another word. I never went back, because I wasn’t going to do business with him again after the way he treated that woman and the comment he made about her. Two months later, I was driving past and noticed the pizza place was closed. From what I was told by my friend who works in the same shopping center, the owner lost a wrongful termination lawsuit against the pregnant woman, and he had to shut the business down to pay her damages and legal fees.

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PERSONAL. SPACE.

, , , | Working | June 16, 2021

My boss has serious boundary issues in more ways than one.

Boss: *Texting* “Did you get your key back from the door? I forgot to mention that I rambled through your drawer to find it and then left it open!”

I have no idea what exactly this means until she comes back a few minutes later. Apparently, she went into my desk to grab my keys and then left them in the back door, all while not telling me or asking me about it because I was in the bathroom. I didn’t know until an hour later. Anyone could’ve gotten in the back door!

The saddest part is this isn’t the worst invasion of privacy. She also went through my desk and stole eaten chocolate — with bite marks and everything — to try and placate her boss who loves all things chocolate. During a global health crisis!

I now take things home with me and make sure I have my keys on me at all times.

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Rage-Tweet Defeat

, , , , , , | Right | June 16, 2021

The company I work for has a policy of checking the IDs of all people in a group if they shop together and buy alcohol. In my experience, that’s a pretty common practice. Unfortunately, quite often, those who don’t have their ID will ask if they can just step outside. The answer is still no, because we know they’re shopping together.

Two women in their early to mid-twenties come in together. My coworker and I see them shopping together, including going to the liquor aisle together. I have a strong feeling that one of them is underage, so I make sure my coworker checks both women’s IDs when ringing them up.

Eventually, I get called to the front. One of the girls is at the register and is visibly livid. As I suspected, the other girl does not have an ID. The sale was denied, and the girl at the register is furious that we won’t sell the liquor, even with her friend outside in the car. She throws a fit, demanding corporate’s number and my name to file a complaint.

While this is going on, a woman lines up behind them. I guess here I should point out that my coworker, this woman, and I are all white; the two women purchasing the alcohol are black. Despite hearing me explain to the first girl why the sale was denied, the other woman demands to know why the sale is denied. She clearly thinks we are being racist even though she doesn’t know about the other girl.

We never hear from the first two, but this woman goes to Twitter to express her rage at this racial injustice. Luckily, the security cameras show the entire scenario, and we see [Girl #2] handing [Girl #1] money to buy said alcohol. Case closed!

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